My Naughty Aunty.

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Aunt Doris showed me a new view of the world, possible solutions to the mystery of man meets woman.

I held out my hand, albeit with a dollop of attitude, but Aunt Pam said: ““You silly boy! I’m not going to cane your hands – there’s far too much risk of injury, especially as you play the piano. There’s only one place God has decreed that naughty boys should be punished, and that’s on the bottom.” It was getting near night. We ran outside and caught fireflies. "Glowbugs" we called them. Every once in awhile you would catch a moth too, and then let it go. It was fun to see who could catch the largest moth...once my sister caught one that had at least a 5 inch wingspan, but we teased her and said it was really a bat. A white bat.We saw my Uncle Harold that day. Only time I ever saw the old man, he died when I was 13. He took an instant liking to me though. He didn't like anyone, that old man, but he liked me. My brother and sister were jealous when Uncle Harold gave me a brand new Baseball. It was so big to me at the time...I couldn't even hold it right in my hand. Doreen seemed only too delighted to assist. “What do you want me to do?” she asked. “We’ll let’s see how co-operative he becomes,” Aunt Pam replied, “we’ll start with the cane.” We stayed for supper. We stayed for desert. And then my sister and I played with our little Cousin, Shannon. She was Aunt Janet's Granddaughter, really our third cousin. She was also spoiled rotten. Cried if she didn't get her way. She got her way a lot. At the time of the following exciting adventure we were sixteen, but I was a few months older than she was.

Oh, thank you honey!” she said catching her breath and swallowing a little, as if somebody else had done it and I relieved her! She kind of looked around for a minute and then gave me a funny look. “So, uh, what exactly was this all about?” She said as she pulled her hand and ankle bonds up simultaneously. “uh well… I just thought it would be fun to tie you up, and I wanted to test out this stuff from school in science class. It’s called chloroform. I didn’t use much.” Sue, Anne and I sat outside under the trees and talked about clothes, and boys, and making out, and about seeing Luke pulling himself off. I could not believe what was happening, of course I would love to dress in the pretty clothes and they were not going to mind at all let alone laugh at me. I had a perfect excuse supplied to me as I saw it. My second great desire in this weird and shadowy dimension was to be spanked myself by a stern, no-nonsense older female. This was kindled in me by Aunt Pam, with the help of her friend Doreen, who lived with her.Aunt Doris looked slightly haggard in the morning. Not hung-over. I knew what hangovers look like. Aunt Doris asked me to drive her to the nearest airport, about two hours away from College Town. There was a 7:30 flight for Los Angeles. She said she had to be on it. She had appointments in Tinseltown. Important appointments she couldn’t afford to miss.